Information collection made by and for the trans community.
Defining Labels & Using Pronouns
THEY/THEM
They most common issue I have heard from parents of trans youth is how to use the proper pronouns. This is especially prominent with the singular they pronoun. As non binary identities are more widely adopted, they/them becomes a more frequent aspect of language. Those that struggle with they/them pronouns take umbrage with the fact that they is plural. The best way I can demonstrate the singular they is the following: If you see a sweater left on a chair and you don't know who it belongs to, what do you say? You say, "Somebody left their sweater" and just like that, you've used the singular they pronoun. Here are examples of the proper way to use they/them pronouns:
- They are non-binary
- I am talking to them
- Their favourite colour is green
- This is their dog
- They can speak for themself
the way we format pronouns is also a helpful way of remembering their use. I am a trans man and use he/him pronouns. The subject pronoun followed by the object pronoun. Translating binary pronouns to non binary ones is a matter of substitution.
He/She = They
Him/Her = Them
His/Her = Their
His/Hers = Theirs
Himself/Herself = Themself
I won't deny that this change can be difficult, but as you use they/them pronouns more, the easier it becomes..
COMMON TERMS
We live in a world that likes to use labels. For those not in the trans community, so many of our identity labels and terms sound like nonsense. These are some of the common ones used by trans people.
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Identities
Gender - How you feel, how you present, how you interact with the world.
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Sex - Biological, determined by your chromosomes, genitalia, and reproductive organs.
Transgender/Trans - Someone whose gender is different from their sex at birth. Transgender is an umbrella term, it covers many different identities, anybody whose gender and sex differ, can be called transgender. Used as an adjective. It is important to remember that transgender should not be used as a verb. Do not say "a transgendered person" using it in this way implies that it is something that happened to us, it is the equivalent of calling a gay man "a gayed man"
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Cisgender/Cis - Somebody who identifies with the gender correlated with their sex assigned at birth. People who are not transgender.
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Transgender Man - A person born female who is transitioning to male, and identifies as a man. Some use the acronym FTM for female to male.
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Transgender Woman - A person born male who is transitioning to female, and identifies as a woman. Some use the acronym MTF for male to female
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Non-Binary - people that don't identify within the male/female gender binary. Non-binary is also an umbrella term, it includes identities like agender (feeling as if you have no gender), bigender (feeling both binary genders), and so many others. An image showing the concept of umbrella terms is shown below. Some use FTN, for natal females transitioning to a non binary gender and MTN for natal males transitioning to a non binary gender.
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Transmasculine - Transitioning to a more masculine presentation/gender identity, mostly used by people who want to be seen as more masculine, but not entirely male
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Transfeminine - Transitioning to a more feminine presentation/gender identity, mostly used by people who want to be seen as more feminine but not entirely female.
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AFAB/AMAD/AGAB - an acronym for what sex you were assigned at birth. AFAB = assigned female at birth. AMAB = assigned male at birth. AGAB = assigned gender at birth.
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Terms
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HRT - shorthand for hormone replacement therapy. Includes things like taking testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone. Those who take testosterone usually use 'T' as shorthand, those on estrogen use 'E'
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Top surgery - surgery that alters the secondary sex characteristics associated with the chest. This includes getting a mastectomy to create a flat chest, or breast augmentation creating larger breasts.
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Bottom Surgery - what most cis people consider "The surgery" It is sexual reassignment surgery (SRS), the creation of a phallus in natal females, or a vagina in natal males.
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Binder - A compression garment that flattens the breast tissue to create a flatter appearance in AFAB people who have not had top surgery
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Packing/Packer - A packer is something used to create the appearance of a bulge in the pants of people without a penis. Packers come in many varieties, some are used only for creating a bulge (a trope in the trans community is using socks for this), STP (Stand to Pee), a packer used to allow the wearer to pee standing up, Pack and Play (packers that can be worn for penetrative sex)
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Tucking - The process of concealing the bulge of male genitalia in AMAB people.
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Misgender - someone using the wrong terms to describe the gender of another person i.e. calling a trans woman "he or man" or a trans man "she or girl"
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Deadname/Deadnaming - A deadname is the name a trans person was given at birth that they no longer use. Deadnaming is calling a person by their old name. A deadname can also be called a birth name.
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Gender Dysphoria - Discomfort/distress that comes from the disconnect between gender and sex. Diagnosable condition in the DSM-5-TR, not all trans people experience gender dysphoria.
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Gender Euphoria - Feelings of happiness and contentment from feeling your body align with your gender.
